Tall, Men, and Ladies

TALL PEOPLE If you are tall, go for the new train models that have a wider layout. You can sometimes tell which are the newer cars, by the lack of carpet, or the ultraviolet lights, but the best feature of these trains is the HIGH bar. If you are a germophobe..this is even better, less people touching it.

MEN ONLY Do NOT grope women on the train, seriously that’s harassment.

Be gentelemen, do NOT run to take the handicapped seat before a little old lady, no matter how athletic she may look. Women still appreciate you giving up your seat for them.

LADIES ONLY Do not dress like you are coming from the club on a weekday morning. If you really are shacking, please pay the extra five bucks for a taxi.

Do NOT get up to offer your seat to another woman unless she is disabled your senior or you are 99.9% sure that she is pregnant. Otherwise they get a little suspicious..Do I look bloated today? Hmmm

Tunes, Bags and Ports

MUSIC Hey you, with the headphones TURN THEM DOWN. I’m glad that you have a solid appreciation for Lady Gaga, Metallica or 2 Chainz, but whats the point of having headphones if I can hear every word of the song.

LUGGAGE A special category of metro etiquette, carrying bags and suitcases through the train. As much as Washingtonians appreciate the easy access to Union Station or National Airport, they HATE when people lug around giant bags. You’ve gotta know that luggage doesn’t always have to be a hindrance. Use it to your advantage. If you see a bag blocking an aisle, go stand next to it. Instantly gives you 10 additional inches of breathing room.

AIRPORTS Metro’ing to Reagan National is great, hop on the metro, get your pretzel and outfit from Pentagon City and 10 min later you are arriving at the terminal. Dulles Airport metro is a mirage. You think the metro is being built, but like the Dupont Circle escalators they seem to be dragging on and on forever. In the meantime, keep booking that Super Shuttle.

Fares, Rides and Poles

FARE INCREASES Don’t read the fare signs, they are never correct for where you want to go. Now they’ve even raised the fares if you use a paper farecard, so be prepared to pay $1.00 more to go the same distance. That doesn’t seem like much except, DC has some of the highest rates in the country.

HOT RIDE During rush hour, the car with available seats is always the HOT car. How they have the nerve to not have air conditioning in the summer is beyond me.

POLE ETIQUETTE Do not wrap your body around the poles. This is not a strip club. There are 10 other people that need to hold on, and the ones that are too short to reach the top bars are grasping at anything they can.

Making your metro ride better, one suggestion at a time

Why should you know how to ride the metro?

Everyone who lives in Washington DC has to take the metro at one point or another. Unless you want to get that $30 parking ticket on Capitol Hill, or the $100 ticket on Constitution Ave near the Mall, you load up your Smartrip and hit the rails.

I’ve been riding the train for some time now, and as a seasoned rider would like to share some tips and tricks to maximize your travel.

There are some tips that everyone gives,

1. Stand to the right. This seems simple enough, walk to the left, stand to the right.

2. Stand back when the doors are closing “These don’t work like elevator doors..and will close with your body or objects inside them”

3. Keep your metro card, you need it to get out (most learn that the hard way)

4. Don’t lean on the doors, they’ll slide open.

But there are some tips that you can't get from the announcements you hear while you stand in the station, thats where I come in.